We had a problem.
We figured out a solution.
We just had to get past the obstacle.
Yesterday, Luke and I were in the front yard figuring out where to put our basketball goal so that it wasn’t obstructing the sidewalk any longer. We are interrupted by Big Man hollering from the front door that something was wrong with Baby Boy. He was standing behind his oldest brother with his hands covering his face. My first thought is that he fell somewhere and had a bloody nose, or maybe a bloody lip, or maybe a bloody mouth.. I was sure there was blood involved because why else would Big Man be hollering at his parents in near hysteria.
The closer we got the more words we were able to discipher from all the crying and blubbering that was going on. Baby Boy here had a bead stuck up his nose. A bead? Up your nose? Great. While leading the inconsolable 2 into the kitchen (where is Middle Man by the way?… we’ll find out shortly) my mind is racing through all the options I have to remove this offending item with taking him to the pediatrician’s office being the last resort.
Luke and I are looking at each other and just shaking our heads. He knows what I am thinking… these are your boys. definately your boys. I know what he is thinking…. don’t freak out, every boy sticks something in his nose at least once in his life.
So the story starts coming out bit by bit with Big Man explaining that Middle Man had put a bead in his nose and got it right back out. Well Baby Boy thought, I can do that too except he SHOVES it up his nose. So as the story is unfolding, Luke and I are looking around wondering where Middle Man is and find him peaking around the corner of the kitchen. We both start asking the whys and the hows and the what-in-the-worlds and soon realize that we have never been in this position to tell our boys not to stick things up their noses. So after a few words to Middle Man about the importance of keeping our noses clean and free of foreign objects we turn our attention to Baby Boy who is still in a fit of panic.
We lay him on the couch and I turn to Luke and say, “flashlight. tweezers.” It was like a scene out of ER. Calm and cool. We were going to perform a minor obstruction dislodgement. We were going to save the day. We were ridiculous. Two college educated adults trying to get a teeny weeny bead out of an itsy bitsy nose. I was the surgeon while Luke was consoling the patient and trying hard not to laugh. Everytime I got the tweezers part ways up his nose he would cough and sneeze and we would start all over again. I just couldn’t get a handle on the bead. I looked at Luke and told him that I needed a longer pair of tweezers and he was up and out the door knowing exactly what I needed. Needle nose Plyers. Of course. They aren’t called Needle Nose for nothing if not to get something out of a nose. Right?
Two tries and that sucker was out.
His face lite up and his eyes were big and we filled his ears with all the warnings a parent needs to give their 5 year old about not ever putting beads or small things up their noses. I felt that with all the drama and terror he endured for 30 minutes, we were pretty safe in assuming he wouldn’t do it again.
Today. Baby Boy has been asked to finish cleaning his room.
Screaming. Crying. Pounding down the stairs.
What in the world is wrong with you?
I got a lego stuck in my nose.
Luke and I face each other again in the same situation that we were in less than 24 hours ago and our mouths drop open. “I thought you learned your lesson yesterday, son. What were you thinking? We told you not to stick anything up your nose.”
“But it’s a lego. You didn’t say I couldn’t put a lego in my nose. You just said not to put a bead up my nose.”
“Okay. So we can be very clear on this. Do not stick a bead, lego, car, wheel of car, piece of food or anything else up your nose. Do you understand?”
Boys. Goodness Gracious!